day 41 : Yesterday was Ben’s birthday, but it wasn’t very much fun. Paul is still sick and at his morning doctor’s appointment she decided he needed a bunch of tests done so we spent the whole afternoon shuttling him to different lab/doctor places. When it was time to put them to bed Paul didn’t want to sleep. When we finally did get them down I was sitting and staring at the monitor and realizing that I have a love/hate relationship with it. I like that I can leave the room and bring it and know that the babies are safe and I will be able to help them if they are hurt or scared. But I hate that we can’t even have a birthday dinner without the constant wooshing sound of their white noise machine filtering through the speaker. We never really get to stop and sit back and enjoy the evening because the monitor is that constant nagging reminder in the background… the babies might wake up. I will be very happy when they are old enough that we don’t need it anymore.