After the rock bottom day yesterday Ben and I had a strategy meeting last night to decide what to do about the baby. Yes, I realize I just said we had a strategy meeting… about a baby. But if you were as sleep deprived as I am you’d understand why this needs to be taken with the same level of seriousness that one might apply to situations like ending the financial crisis or striving for world peace. This is equally important to our family’s well being. So today was day one of implementing the new strategy, which is not a “schedule” per se but more of a switch to encouraging a “routine”. The distinction is kind of blurry I know, but by not doing things “by the clock” at a set time but instead maintaining a certain predictable order of events we’re hoping we will allow both the baby to eat and sleep as much as *she* needs to while also allowing *me* to know with some degree of accuracy when she might want to eat or sleep and plan accordingly. Day one went probably better than expected. Not 100% success but I’d have to be pretty naive to expect that day one would be a complete turn-around. Things are looking somewhat up though. Hopefully tomorrow follows suit.

Only 3 days into the new year and already posting sad last minute before bedtime photos of things that are around the house. But at least I took a photo, right? Today was a bit of a mess, we’ve been having trouble with Edie’s sleeping/eating/napping (or lack thereof) schedule and I am pretty sure today we hit rock bottom. I was completely exhausted. Luckily grandma stepped in to save the day, watching all the kids so that I could get a much needed nap. We’re not quite sure what the problem is with the baby (most likely it’s a combination of things, it always is) but one culprit is definitely teething. Ah teething, goes on for months before the teeth even pop up. Much fun awaits us I’m sure.

Ben had the day off of work today so we took the kids on an outing to celebrate. It was the first time in a long time that I can remember spending so much time really just enjoying the kids… my mom spent a lot of time watching and entertaining the baby while we were out and it was nice to just be able to focus my energy on spending time with Ben, Paul and Amelia. I know that someday it won’t be this way but a lot of days I feel like the baby gets an unfair percentage of my attention. There’s never enough time or enough of me to go around and since everyone else is more understanding and less helpless she always seems to get what she needs first. I’m trying to walk a line of treasuring these moments with her as a baby while still giving the kids the attention they need…. and looking forward to the future when we can ALL play together, but still making sure that I’m not inadvertently wishing away my baby’s whole first year. It’s a balancing act that I’m definitely still adjusting to and I know I’m not doing it perfectly, but I’m doing the best I can. While we were out the kids got to play with legos. Real, actual legos. They’ve only ever played with duplos. And they got them, they knew how to use them and they were good at it. It was a weird wake up call about how old they are getting.

Well Ok, so I didn’t exactly make it through the less than two weeks of the end of last year making a post every day. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try again (just watch me!)

When I first started this blog it was a way to try to improve my photography skills. I felt like I was writing it for some invisible audience out there somewhere in the universe and that I needed to impress them… with how great my photos were, with how witty my writing was, with how awesome my life was. Now, looking back I realize that actually the only person who really matters as an audience for this blog is myself – the me in the future who will look back and wonder “where did the last year go and how did we spend it?” Because time truly is flying these days and sometimes I get a bit choked up realizing how much is changed and how little time I’ve taken to savor that. The last time I did attempted a 365 I had these arbitrary rules for myself… not too many photos of the (then babies, now) kids and more artistic, still life, etc… this year I’m making no such promises. If a photo a day of my kids is what comes of this then so be it. And if every one is the same photo and it bores you to tears I’m ok with that as well. Because my babies are becoming children before my very eyes and I’m sure if I blink I’ll miss it.

So here goes another year…