19. finish and donate a blanket to project Linus {30 by 30 list}

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This one has been on my to-do list for ages. Since about September of 2008 to be exact. Project Linus is a charity that collects blankets from volunteers (they can be crochet, knit, quilted… pretty much if you can make it they will take it) and distributes them to children in need of some love and comfort. From the Project Linus website :

As Charles Schulz’s Linus character from the PEANUTS® comic strip was comforted by his blanket, Project Linus strives to do the same and more for children who are seriously ill, traumatized, or otherwise in need. The blankets our nearly 400 chapter coordinators collect from thousands of “blanketeers” (volunteers) across the United States and then distributed to these children provide love, a sense of security, warmth, and comfort.

When Paul and Amelia were born they spent 2 weeks in the NICU. The first week and a half of that was spent in isolettes, little plastic baby bubbles where they wore only diapers and were hooked up to all sorts of beeping, buzzing, glowing machines. Once they reached a certain size and were able to take their food by mouth rather than tube they were moved into an open crib. When we walked into the NICU to find them in open cribs it was pretty much the happiest moment of my life. They finally looked like they were snuggly and cozy, just as babies are meant to be. Part of it was that they weren’t in their isolettes anymore, but a lot of it was that they were also covered up by beautiful handmade blankets given to them by Project Linus.

Ever since that day I have had blanket making on my to-do list. It made me feel so comforted and loved to know that someone out there took the time and effort to make blankets for my babies. I knew I needed to do the same for someone else who was going through a rough time. Paul and Amelia actually still sleep with their Project Linus blankets every single night.

I started this blanket sometime in 2010 and have had it mostly finished for almost a year now. I was just dragging my feet on weaving in the ends (I don’t like that part) and getting it mailed off, but I’m proud to say it’s on its way as of this morning. Hooray! I finally finished my blanket! Now to make a second one…

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For those curious about the how-to on this blanket… it’s pretty much the easiest crochet project on the planet. All you need to know is chain, single crochet and double crochet. I believe it’s actually this shell stitch pattern from the Project Linus website, but almost all the shell stitch patterns I found were basically the same idea. Three cheers for finishing a project!

One more item checked off my 30 by 30 list, hooray!

19. finish and donate a blanket to project Linus {30 by 30 list}

paul’s baby clothes quilt {sewing projects}

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I was digging through my folder of crafty project photos today and realized I never blogged the finished quilt I made for Paul from his old baby clothes. This has been finished for quite a while (almost a year now) but I just never got around to posting it. It’s essentially exactly the same as Amelia’s baby clothes quilt but made of Paul’s clothes (duh).

Paul's baby clothes quilt - quilting projects on Permanent Riot

Paul's baby clothes quilt - quilting projects on Permanent Riot

When I finished it he climbed all over it, inspecting it and pointing out all the squares he liked best. He also told me which of the clothes he remembers
Paul's baby clothes quilt - quilting projects on Permanent Riot

He seems to love his just as much as his sister loves hers

Paul's baby clothes quilt - quilting projects on Permanent Riot

Paul's baby clothes quilt - quilting projects on Permanent Riot

Both of their quilts are made from the clothes they wore during their first year… I can’t believe it’s already almost time to make Edie a quilt (yikes!) time is certainly flying! If you happened to miss Amelia’s quilt post and are wondering how to make one of your very own go and check it out – there are tons of links/explanations on how I made it and all of the tutorials I used. Hooray for baby clothes quilts!

paul’s baby clothes quilt {sewing projects}

Birthday cake … yum! {baking}

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Friday was Ben’s birthday and I just cannot let a birthday pass without baking a cake. Unfortunately for me all of my most favorite birthday cakes have two things in common – 1. They are baked on sheet trays and 2. They contain buckets and buckets of butter. These two traits are a problem because 1. Our new house (while super fabulously amazing) has a doll sized oven. Ok… maybe a bit larger than doll sized but it doesn’t hold my sheet trays (boo hoo! I cannot wait until we can put in a massive oven in a few years!) and 2. I am currently not eating any dairy since I’m nursing a baby with a milk protein intolerance.

So what’s a lady to do?

I started searching around on a few of the blogs that I read for a dairy free cake (because it doesn’t have to be *vegan* just dairy free… I can still have eggs) and didn’t find any that tempted me but I DID find this cake which looked simply amazing – Forgiving Martha’s vanilla buttercake with strawberry icing. I had first seen her blog thanks to a facebook post by a friend for her chavocado pudding (and yes, it sounds weird but it is delicious as well!) and knew that she posts a lot of vegan recipes… but this butter cake was anything BUT vegan (hello, butter!) I decided to try it anyway, using earth balance (a butter substitute) and just following the rest of the recipe exactly. The batter actually reminded me a lot of the batter for my favorite sheet tray but I was skeptical as to how it would turn out. Ben suggested we test out the convection setting on our oven (hey, at least if it has to be tiny it’s somewhat fancy) and to my shock and amazement the cake cooked perfectly evenly all the way through. It was also not too dense or too dry… just simply delicious! Mmmmmm.

I tried to make the frosting as well (because it looks SO good) but let’s just say that the earth balance and strawberries did NOT want to mingle. No matter what I tried I couldn’t get an emulsion out of them, just a gloppy mess. Maybe it was my fault and the temperature was off, or maybe it’s just a fact of using a butter substitute but, but that whole batch went straight to the trash can. I decided instead to make a variation on the icing I’d made for Ben’s birthday cupcakes for work earlier in the week (mmm cupcakes). It’s a recipe for vegan chocolate mint cupcakes but I altered it to be an almond icing – substitute almond extract for mint and leave out the food color. This kind mixed up much much better.

I put a layer of icing and a layer of strawberries between the two layers of cake, coated the whole thing in icing and decorated with strawberries.

The effect wasn’t quite exactly the same (no fluffy pinkness in the icing) but still pretty mouth-watering if I do say so myself. Mmmmmmm cake. I’m glad that even with a tiny oven and non-dairy requirement I was still able to make a tasty cake

(photo via instagram… I didn’t have time once it was finished to take a picture with my camera… oops)

Birthday cake … yum! {baking}

Tara’s bee baby shower {parties}

Katy R, , 1 Comment

I have a tendency to go a bit craft crazy when it comes to party planning… I can’t help spending hours and hours online searching blogs and pinterest to find ideas for the cutest themes and crafts. Tara’s baby shower was no exception and since it was celebrating the arrival of my newest niece or nephew (gender unknown!) I wanted everything to be extra special. I was stumped how to decorate for a gender neutral party until a friend of mine suggested a bee theme for the shower ” what will it bee “… cute right?! Sue and I cohosted the shower at her beach house which is full of beautiful natural sunlight and I love how bright and cheery everything turned out.

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We had a couple of games – the traditional baby shower bingo and a guessing game for what the gender will be (clearly no winner yet since baby is still baking away in mom’s belly!) and I loved the idea of leaving words of wisdom for the new momma to be!

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Sue found these adorable bee chocolates and while I didn’t have time to bake nearly as many treats as I would have liked I did manage to at least come up with some cupcakes.

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There were of course lots of adorable tiny outfits to be opened

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although I didn’t have much time to photograph the gift opening portion of the day since Ben came by and brought Edie to play with everyone for the second half of the shower. Her friend Harper was in attendance as well.

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And one last shot of me with Tara (looking fabulous!) and my cohost Sue. Congratulations Tara!! I am so ridiculously excited for the arrival of my new niece or nephew… I cannot wait!

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Tara’s bee baby shower {parties}

7. Wear an out of the ordinary nail polish color {30 by 30 list}

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I’m not sure why I put this one on the list… I have been getting my toenails painted once a month or so since Edie was born as a treat to myself, during the newborn phase it was an easy way to make myself feel a little more put together when I hadn’t showered in days or had a spit-up stained shirt on. And I always always pick some sort of shade of pink or purple, even with a rainbow of color options at my disposal. I guess I put this on the list because I finally decided “why not?” Part of me feels like a 12 year old with this color on, part of me kind of likes it. I’m not convinced that I’ll do it again but now at least I’ve tried it.

Paul and Amelia noticed instantly “Mommy your toes are yellow” “Why are your toes yellow?” “Your toes are usually pink”… these observations/questions lasted an entire day and started up again this morning. I think I rocked their world just a bit by stepping outside my norm.

One more item on my list complete! Only 27 to go.

7. Wear an out of the ordinary nail polish color {30 by 30 list}

9. Go for a hike {30 by 30 list}

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We live less than 10 minutes from two different hiking areas, and less than 30 minutes from about a dozen others. I know we moved into our house just two days after Edith was born and she’s only seven months old, but I still feel silly that it’s taken us this long to go on a hike. The weather has been SO nice lately that we really have no excuse not to so yesterday afternoon we packed up and headed out for our first family of 5 hike. The term “hike” is used a bit loosely here – we were all just wearing jeans tennis shoes and we brought along the strollers, but we were still walking up a hiking path so I’m counting it. We definitely made the wrong choice in bringing the strollers for several reasons – first off the trail was steep and very switchbacked (we hiked from about 800 feet above sea level to all the way up to 1200) which was not conducive to strollering at all (not even with our beefy air-filled tires) and second of all we hardly even used them. Paul and Amelia walked 95% of the time on their own and I know if we hadn’t had the stroller they would have been fine to walk the entire way. Edith obviously couldn’t walk herself but we could have easily worn her in an ergo. We actually discussed in the parking lot which would be better and settled on the stroller since it would be easier for me to take photos if I didn’t have a baby carrier on. Next time we’ll know and we will definitely forgo the wheels!

I can’t even tell you how NICE it was up there on the hill… I am a sucker for the California golden hour glowy light, especially on a warm breezy day when the wild mustard flowers starting to bloom. My mom says you can tell I don’t have allergies because if I did I would hate them, but those mustard flowers are one my absolute favorite things about living in southern California. I know it’s spring when they come out and I just can’t get enough of their cheery yellow blossoms. I wish we could hike together every day.

LOVE the views from way up on the hills, next time I want to hike the other side of the hill so we can get the ocean view!

Both kids fell several times but are so resilient. I love that they just pick themselves up and keep on going, even though they were covered literally head to toe in dirt. Amelia at one point did a face plant and ended up with a completely dirt covered nose but wasn’t fazed by it at all. We kept cheering them on, telling them what a great job they were doing and how much fun hiking was… Amelia said at one point “I love hiking, we should go hiking again soon!” Yes… yes we should!

dirt covered and loving life…

One more list item… CHECK!

9. Go for a hike {30 by 30 list}

3. Plant an avocado tree {30 by 30 list}

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Over the weekend I posted my 30 by 30 list of things I’d like to try to do before my 30th birthday. On Sunday Ben and I tackled #3 on the list – we planted an avocado tree in the back yard.

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I am SO ridiculously excited to grow our very own delicious avocados at home and even more excited by the prospect of virtually unlimited numbers of them. The tag that was on the tree when we bought it had, in addition to planting and watering directions, a description of the fruit which said that the tree would be prolific. Ben said not to count my avocados before they’re hatched… but come on… prolific?! Doesn’t that just make your mouth water dreaming of all of the delicious guacamole and avocado topped lentil burgers that could be in your future? It does for me.

Our little tree is just that… a little tree right now. A sapling really.

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It will take a long time for it to get to full on tree status, and even longer for it to start producing fruit. I think that an optimistic estimate is that the first avocados could appear three years from now.. which means that Edith will be the age that Paul and Amelia are now before we will see any fruit. In those terms it seems like a million years away. And it actually could be up to five years. I’m confident that it will be worth the wait

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Grow, tree. Grow!

I will be updating my original 30 by 30 list and crossing out each item as I go along. First item … check!

3. Plant an avocado tree {30 by 30 list}

A belated 30 by 30 list

Katy R1 Comment

I will turn 30 years old this summer. It’s a weird idea because if 30 is a stage of life I feel like I’ve been there forever – having three kids, a dog, two cars and a home of our own makes me feel decidedly 30ish. But if 30 is a feeling of being mature and accomplished I think I am still firmly rooted in my 20s (or teens). I still feel like a kid playing “grown up” most days. I saw the 30 by 30 idea on a few of my favorite blogs and have been meaning to post my list for ages but keep forgetting. Today I finally decided it was time to start. If I can’t get to all of these by my birthday I won’t beat myself up about it… but I’d like to at least try. They aren’t my grand life ambitions but more things I always want to do but don’t make time for. I’d like to get to as many of these as possible in the next 5 months or so. So without further ado, my 30 by 30 list. A lot of these are actually things that I have done at one time or another but haven’t done lately.

1 try surfing – I’m going to need to enlist the help of one of my surfing friends for this one
2 learn a song on my guitar – I actually used to know a couple but haven’t played since highschool. My guitar will certainly need a good dusting and tuning as well
3 plant an avocado tree – now that we have a yard I want to take advantage of it. I would love to grow tasty food at home. Done!
4 run on the beach – I used to do this often but haven’t in over a year and I miss it
5 do yoga outdoors – I practice yoga 4 times a week but always in dimly lit sweaty rooms. I’d like to try it al fresco
6 host an outdoor dinner party – so many ideas for this one… lots of twinkle lights will be involved
7 wear an out of the ordinary nail polish color – just because Done!
8 take a swimming lesson – I can swim but poorly. I’d like to be faster so that I might someday be able to race in a triathlon
9 go for a hike on the trails near the house – there are lots of great hiking spots 5 minutes from our house and we’ve never tried them. Done!
10 go for a bike ride – another thing I used to do often but haven’t lately.
11 find and drink a picon bierre – my favorite drink when we lived in Paris. I’ve never found them in the US
12 go see live music being played – we haven’t been to a concert in probably close to 5 years. I’d like to see one Done!
13 shop at our local farmers market – another right near our house but we never make it there list item
14 see a movie – I can’t even remember the last one we saw. Done!
15 join a book club – adult conversation and an excuse to sit down and read a book every once in a while? Yes please!
16 have a girls night out – maybe some wine and a dinner where I don’t have to refill anyone’s milk glass. Sounds lovely
17 go visit San Francisco – it’s been way too long and I’m so excited to see Chris and Tara’s new apartment
18 send someone an unexpected gift – just because
19 finish and donate a blanket to project Linus – Paul and Amelia got blankets from them in the NICU. I have been working on a blanket for 2 years now. Done!
20 sew myself an item of clothing – I haven’t made myself anything in over a year
21 run in a race – hopefully a 5k. Done!
22 reupholster a chair – we currently have two chairs that we’ve been meaning to reupholster. I even have the fabric but just haven’t done it
23 write a short story – I’ve been meaning to write more but haven’t (other than blogging) in ages. I’d like to start
24 be photographed with my sister – we don’t have any photos together since Allison’s wedding.
25 sew matching outfits for the kids – maybe for Easter? I’m dreaming of sun dresses Done!
26 volunteer somewhere – I would love to take the kids to volunteer with me but they’re probably a bit too young. I really want to find a regular volunteer activity to make part of my weekly routine
27 do couch to 5k – since I’m so out of practice I’ll probably need to do this to work up to numbers 4 and 21
28 take the kids to fly kites in the park – they LOVE watching kites but we’ve never tried it ourselves. Done!
29 take the kids on a train ride – since trains are one of Paul’s favorite things we really should take one sometime soon
30 build a deck outside our house – our backyard needs a lot of work. Ben and I have been talking about doing this ourselves and I’m excited to try it

To finish all of these by my birthday I’ll need to do 6 every month. Wish me luck.

A belated 30 by 30 list

Learning to breathe again

Katy R1 Comment

This post is going to fall squarely into the “ramblings” category. Sometimes I’m tempted only to post the things that I feel are going to be popular – my crafty projects or recipes I like, the kind of things that make you feel good. This post might not make you feel good. But this is my blog and I started it as a place to write about my life. This is my life. And it finally feels like the right time to write about it.

The last few months have been hard. Extremely hard. Our family had relocated to the east coast for a year while my husband finished up grad school. While there I became pregnant and we were under the gun to not only find a new job for Ben back home by the time we moved but we were also looking for a new home to buy. And taking care of almost three year old twins… and oh yeah… did I mention the pregnant bit? We were extremely busy. That’s about the time that my blog fell off the map and posts became less and less frequent (before stopping all together). In the end of July, while in escrow for our new home and almost two months before my due date, my water broke. I was 33 weeks pregnant. Our daughter Edith was born one week later at 34 weeks on the dot. The day that we took ownership of our new home and the day before we were scheduled to move. Miraculously she was completely fine and required no NICU time. She was just small and needed help to learn to nurse. Since our twins were born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in the NICU, getting to bring Edith home with us when I left the hospital felt like winning the lottery. It was both exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. Really?! You’re going to let us take this teeny tiny brand new baby home with us? Are you sure?

The first few months at home with the new baby were rough. Since Edith was early she wasn’t big enough to nurse effectively and it was a never ending cycle of nurse, pump, bottle feed, repeat. She wasn’t nursing well until she was around 2 months old. We were also in the process of trying to settle into a new house. We had just started falling into a routine at home when our whole world was turned upside down yet again. My sister, who was pregnant and due in December was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and put into the hospital for monitoring. After a few days of monitoring she was discharged home, only to return to the hospital a day later to hear the devastating news that her son had passed away. He was born sleeping on October 25th, she was 33 weeks pregnant. There just are not words to describe the loss of an infant. Cruel, gut wrenching, life changing, indescribably unfair. There just is no way to explain it and no good way to deal with it. He was a living breathing human being, one with a whole family waiting to welcome him to the world and show him all of its wonders. And yet suddenly he was gone.

I literally feel like time stopped that day when I heard the news. I was sitting at home on the bed in my room with the baby. I heard Ben walk into the house and wondered what he was doing home so early from work. “What a nice surprise” I thought. And then he opened his mouth “Allison lost the baby”. I screamed. I sobbed. I didn’t stop screaming or sobbing as I ran around the house throwing things into bags. We had to head up to my parents house, up to the hospital, we had to be there and we had to be there immediately. I didn’t know what or why I was doing anything. I was just doing. And sobbing. And screaming. I don’t think I’ll ever get the images of those next few days out of my head. Of seeing my sister and her husband in the hospital. Of the sign they put on her hospital room door. Of all the crying and all the sadness. I don’t know how we survived.

I literally just went through the motions of living for months after that. I would get up and get dressed because I had to get up. I had to get dressed. The kids needed a mom and the baby needed to be cared for. If it had been up to me I would have buried myself under my covers and never come out. I literally don’t know how my sister was able to continue carrying on. She is an amazing woman. She continues to live and breathe because she has no other choice, but she does it with such grace and such composure for someone who has been through so very much heartache. After a few months I started realizing that something wasn’t right with me. I literally kept thinking that things were the same as the day that I heard the news… I wasn’t mentally moving on. My world was still in October. Still back in that day. I was still the mother of a three month old baby… but time was ticking on without me. My baby was now almost 6 months old. I just didn’t know because I was totally numb. I went to a doctor, I started getting help. Figuring out what was wrong with me and how we could make it better. I started doing yoga again and seeing an acupuncturist. And slowly, bit by bit, I started feeling alive again.

I’m finally now starting to see bits of my old self coming through. It has been a long and rough road to get to this point, and I know that there is still a long way to go, but I now feel like I will be able to get there eventually. I can now laugh and smile and enjoy my children and do it without guilt or sadness overshadowing my joy. I don’t believe that we have entirely arrived at our “new normal” but I feel like we are getting there. And I can see myself returning to a life where I can start doing the things that I love. I want to start blogging again. I want to start working more and crafting more. I want to start living more. What is the point of life if it’s not to live it?

A few weeks ago we went to the beach at sunset with the kids. Nothing will make you feel more alive than spending a golden afternoon in the California sun… it’s truly invigorating.

I finally feel like I’m learning to breathe again. And I really, really needed the air.

Learning to breathe again